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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844693">It's my fault</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RelaxAckles/pseuds/RelaxAckles'>RelaxAckles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, M/M, Past Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Therapy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:20:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>684</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844693</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RelaxAckles/pseuds/RelaxAckles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Teen!berlermo<br/>Andres committed sucide<br/>Conversation between martin and a psychologist</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa &amp; Palermo | Martín Berrote, Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's my fault</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-Tell me if you said life is worth living why is that?  What should i live for? what is so special about being here living in the moment? I can't live in the moment or think about the future when I'm stuck in the past. And why wouldn't want to relive the past when he was there. Where my most beautiful memories happend.<br/>
Memories this is all i've got left how sad is that. Pure idiot the only thing keeping him alive are images of what used to be his perfect life. How pathetic of me.<br/>
He was an idiot an absolut disaster and i hated him and still he gets his peace and me what do i get? Sleepless nights ? Crying until passing out wich is the only time i get to close my eyes and rest. Why did he get the easy way out. Why am I the one punished for his stupidity?<br/>
-Do you consider living a punishment?<br/>
-Wouldn't you? What am i alive for? Enjoy the sun and move on? People don t get it, I cant move on.<br/>
-Moving on its a big term for now. How about we start with something that makes you happy,  that takes your mind away.<br/>
Martin looks down at his finger and laugh he shouldn't but he does it anyway. What makes him happy? He didn't thaught of that in a long time.<br/>
-Martin are you still here?<br/>
He dozed off again how usual of him. This keeps happening his brain makes him lost in his thaught completly taken away from the real world. Just him and his thaughts. That'sa scarry thing but he can't help it.<br/>
-Unfortunately<br/>
She lets out a sigh<br/>
-Tell me martin what makes you happy? She repeted the question not letting Martina way out of just ingoring the question.<br/>
-Nothing. Nothing can take my mind of him when everything reminds me of him can't you get it? Why wouldn't she get it it already<br/>
-I look around and see his stupid face, I hear his annoying laugh everywhere I can't escape this.<br/>
-You can't or you don't want to?<br/>
- What's the difference? Of course there was a difference and martin was aware of that but it was easier to play dumb instead of answering.<br/>
-Martin I know you're a smart man let's not get around the question. Think which one is it?<br/>
Think martin. His brain stop functioning all together. Great now is the time for his head to be empty. Stupid brain.<br/>
-Maybe you're afraid. her voice pull him out of his thoughts again.<br/>
He grins keeping his walls up not letting her see inside. Not leting her see how broken he actually was.<br/>
-Afraid of what?<br/>
-Afraid of the answer of course.<br/>
-Of course how obvious, silly me.<br/>
-You're hiding behind your sarcams and your humor  and I'm afraid i can't help you if you won't let me.<br/>
-Maybe I don't want help.<br/>
-Ah.. see there is your answer. You're punishing yourself martin and you shouldn't it wasn't your fault. I need you to acknowledge that.<br/>
-I don't think it was my fault and you're wrong why would i want to punish myself?<br/>
-Martin we can't keep doing this, going into circles. Let me help you.<br/>
- You can't.<br/>
-You don't know that if you don't try first.<br/>
-Okay then you shouldn't help me<br/>
-And why is that?<br/>
-Because it's my god damn fault. Im here and his not and it's all my fault.<br/>
His walls were down. Broken to pieces just like him. He couldn't keep pretending anymore it was to much. His cheeks were filled with tears and the air seems to disappear not managing to get enough in his lungs. It comes all together and it's crushing him down and he can't get up.<br/>
-It's my fault.. It's all my faul..his not here and it's my fault.<br/>
He was like a broken record. Saying the same thing over and over again. This is it, this is how he was going to die. Dying drown in his own tears or eaten by the guilt.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Twitter @relaxackles</p></blockquote></div></div>
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